How not to pick up girls in a bar...

This isn't a post about online dating, but it did happen on Maui so I'm going to allow it.

Years ago, after my sister moved home from college, my mom set us up in a blind date. Yes both of us. One guy. My mom's a little crazy when it comes to finding her daughters dates (it's all a part of "Operation Grandchildren" in which any tactics may be necessary).

Surprisingly this story isn't about the blind date (not that it worked out well at all - it was the last blind date I ever let my mom set me up on) it's about something that happened before the blind date showed up.

We were at the Ale House and had ordered drinks while waiting for the blind date to show when this older Maui-wind surfer-hippy type saunters over. This is the conversation we had:

Surfer-douche: As the unofficial welcome wagon of Maui I'd like to welcome you two ladies to the island. Where are you girls from?

My sister and I give identical confused glances at each other. One of us: We're from Maui.

Welcome-wagon-douche: Do you work at night.

One of us (not amused): No.

Foot-in-mouth-douche: Well maybe you should go out in the sun.

He walked away before we could answer. Fortunate for him because one of us may have punched him (probably not me). Granted my sister had just moved home from the mainland and I don't tan well and tend to avoid the sun, but you really shouldn't make those kinds of assumptions about people then blame them when those assumptions make you into an ass. Not a way to make a good impression.