Hawaiian Supaman

I feel kind of like I'm breaking some online dating rules, but I find this too awesome not to share. I'm doing it out of respect.

This guy is hilarious and I would totally message him to tell him so but he prefers the Hawaiian ladies so I'll just keep my haole-ness to myself.

This is what he has written on his profile. It definitely makes him stand out:

"My self-summary
I was born on the mystical island of Niihau. It was there that surfed my way to Maui on my wooden KOA board carved from the sacred trees of Niihau.

I landed in Kahoolawe were I met my new family. I was 2 years old at the time. There I lived among the wild Nene gooses and pua'as. There, I learned how to catch all da Humus and the Nukus and all the Apua'as. At the age of 13 I become a man with a full grown beard. It was time to join society and make my life something even better. I was not afraid of the future, I was afraid of what I was capable of.

At the age of 16, I when sponge em up Mountain Haleakala, the cold never bother me cause I full HAWAIIAN, the cold was afraid of ME. At the top I fell into a mystical crater which gave me super powers and when give me TRIBAL TATS and sunglasses and green bottles buu and one pitbull and one flatbed truck.

What I’m doing with my life
Now, I am 28. Even though I lost my virginity at 2 years old. It is time to find my Queen Liliuokalani, my girl KAMEHAMEHA, my brown skinned butterfly so I can be her NECTA and POLLINATE.

I am a successful Hawaiian SUPAMAN. I find crime and send em straight to MCCC. Literally, I toss em over the fence. I taught Dog ALL his tricks buleh. Children love me. When the gov't take my land, I take em back they no stop me. I too murf. DIS MY BEACH. DIS OUR BEACH. No Ka oi. Melekalikimaka.

I’m really good at
I can speak fluent HAWAIIAN in braille."

Like I said hilarious.